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Friday, March 16, 2012

Motherhood (with the help of PMS) is an emotional roller coaster.

Schroeder is almost three and is a mess maker.  He (with his sister cheering) opened a new bag of honey nut cheerios and dumped it all over the kitchen floor.  He (with his brother cheering) squeezed out Stephen's bottle of body wash.  Think old spice not bath and body works.  I was headed to Target that night and picked him up some more.  I found Schroeder the next day naked, in our bathtub, covered in the new bottle of soap.  No water, just soap.  Lots of soap.  He has poured a third of a container of orange juice in a cup, and then when that was full, on the table and on the floor.
Last week, He decided to stop using the toilet full time (we've worked hard this week to nip that in the bud).  Instead, several times a day, he was peed wherever he stood, toke his wet clothes off, stuck them in my dryer, and either found some new pants or went without.  The boy has been potty trained for at least six months!  The other day, we put Schroeder to bed with a diaper on, and when we came up for bed, found him laying in the middle of our bed.  He had taken his diaper off, fallen asleep, and peed on our bed.
This boy is testing my patience, I suppose like all good almost three years olds should,  but last week, my emotions were all over the place.  I was losing my temper and tearing up over silly things.  I cried a little reading this article about Peyton Manning.  Yikes.  So I wasn't handling his three year old escapades very well.
One night, I left Stephen with a jar of spaghetti sauce and our four crazy kids, and went for some retail therapy.  When I came home, I grabbed Schroeder's baby book in an attempt to remember why I love him.

When I was looking at all his sweet pictures, I began to tear up because my memory of him as a nine month old, a one year old, an eighteen month old seem so faint.  I found out I was pregnant with Maggie when he was eight or nine months old.  I feel like I didn't have an opportunity to cherish his baby days.
Schroeder is a small kid.  He's maybe in the first percentile for height.  I always assumed that if I married a taller guy, my boys would have a chance at being average height.  I worry about his height a lot.  I measure him once a month to make sure he is growing at a steady rate because he barely grew between 18 months and 2 years.
So when I was looking at his book, I started to think maybe I didn't just miss his baby days, maybe I neglected him causing him to not grow to his full potential.  I shared all my feelings to my mommy friend the next day.  She came over for lunch and I kind of unloaded on her my silly thoughts and emotions.  She did what good friends do.  She listened and simply asked, "Do you really think that is true?"  My pecking thoughts want to convince me it is.
So here is to all you moms having energy to withstand the shennanigans of your three year old (or five, ten, or fill in the blank year old).  Here is to all moms having the Holy Spirit and close friends by to remind you of what is true and what isn't.  Here is to all moms relying on God's strength instead of their own to raise their kids. And here is to great pictures that help us remember why we love them.  


  1. I feel you. Thank you for such an honest post. It's always encouraging get a peek into another mom's life and feel less alone in this sanctifying process of living for others.

  2. Crying now! I can't even begin to tell you just how much I can relate. Thank you for being so honest. I can tell you that I have stood exactly where you are. As one kind stranger said to me.......there is a special place in heaven for moms like you! Hang in there. My youngest 2 who are 15 mo apart (but are almost the exact same size) def tag team me. I know what you are feeling is normal, but I also know that you are a fabulous Mom!!! I know that in between the chaos you savor the precious moments (& document them) and I admire you for that. Your updates encourage & inspire me. Thank you, Chrissy

  3. Melissa! I have not been to your blog in awhile but here and now this is EXACTLY what is happening with my 3year old. He is exhausting. I watch him while he is sleeping just to remind myself of who he is and that I do love him. I fear the same things that you do (not about growing) but about being to busy for him because I was pregnant and now he's acting out. He's not just a mess maker he is needy, whiny, defiant, highly sensitive....I worry. He did the same thing with his diaper. Take it off, pee in his bed, then crawl into our bed and pee in ours....Now, Emery is almost four and things are changing-so here is hope to you. They get better. He WILL go potty, he Will stop making messes, he Will respond to discipline, and he WILL grow up knowing who he is and that you love him.
    As far as your fears for him go, just ask him to forgive you-whether his growth is spiritual/emotional or not, there is no harm done in asking for forgiveness and then blessing his little spirit (but it's not a little spirit it's a world changing kind)
    so, just know, YOU ARE NOT ALONE and neither is your crazy Schroeder-from his kindred spirit in PA

  4. Thank you for your post. You are an amazing mama, and I so appreciate your honesty. The age of 3 is definitely the hardest so far, and I am not looking forward to going through it two more times, but when I am, I will call you so you can remind me of these things you just stated. :)