Beth and Daniel are married.

Beth and Daniel are sweet friends from church.  I was really privileged to be asked to photograph their wedding.  Beth follows my blog.  She is my most common commenter.  Her comments really encourage me.  Plus, she gets my heart for photography, my candid, show the moment vision.  She gave me permission to do what I do.  Sometimes I need permission because I get caught up with what other people are doing and how maybe my brides are expecting me to deliver what other photographers would.  

My friend Brooke asked me if I knew who Tara Whitney was.  Yes.  I do.  She said my stuff reminded her of Tara Whitney's photography.  I've never been paid a higher compliment.  That gave me even more courage to trust my vision.  

Oh, and I loved this wedding.  Weddings are always beautiful when a couple infuses themselves into the decorations, the food, the ceremony, the outfits.  It doesn't matter what their budget is.    It matters that the celebration reflects them.  Beth and Daniel were all over this wedding and it made me so happy.  

Did I mention that my daughter was their "Leaf" girl.  D'arcy brought this dress home from our neighbor's garage sale this spring.  I think she got it for free.  She loves formal attire.  I rolled my eyes that day last spring but sure was thankful that she had something perfect for this wedding.  Anyway, she was so thrilled to be asked and to be included in Beth's special day.  

Children are all joy and no fun.

This book caught my attention this week.  First, I saw an article about it on Facebook.  Then Terry Gross interviewed the author on Fresh Air.  I'm really intrigued by articles that evaluate modern parenting and how parenting has changed in recent history.  My fascination probably stems from the fact that I have degree in Sociology.  Oh, and also because I'm a mom, specifically, a self proclaimed 1970's mom.

I made that term up.  (Dislaimer.  The description of my parenting below is not an attempt to get affirmation.  I'm also not asserting that my approach is best.  It just is what it is.)

I use it to describe the facts that I had multiple kids without spending much time contemplating whether I even wanted kids.  We started young.  I was twenty-three.  We were married, but neither of us had established careers and we didn't own a home.  We didn't necessarily plan D'arcy, but instead planned not to try too hard to plan.  I don't believe being a parent requires me to also be a primary playmate.  Therefore, I send my kids upstairs to play without me and without guilt.  Okay, okay, on occasion I have been known to read my kids books and we have bi-weekly dance parties.  But, really, I'm not four and I don't really like to build legos or watch animated movies.  I send my kids to public school and I arrived at that decision easily.  I'm a little skeptical of after-school activities and planning every minute of my child's childhood.  Sometimes, it seems, I'm a champion of mediocrity.  (Now, I'm laughing at myself)  I'm not skeptical of measles and polio vaccinations, though.  I tell my kids to go play in the backyard, and I don't go with them.  Shouldn't kids have time to play without parents watching them every minute?  My grandma thought that was okay.  That was before kids were snatched up, people routinely remind me.

Sometimes, I've wondered if calling it 1970's parenting is a way of excusing what is ultimately lazy, lax parenting.  But this article legitimizes my claim.  I didn't make this up.  Parenting has rapidly changed in my lifetime.  I suppose the question is which changes are for the better and which for the worse.    

A couple of years ago, I heard a survey that came to the conclusion that non-parents were happier than parents.  At first, I felt defensive.  I'm happy, damn it.  Or at least, I think I am.  Some of my peers talk about the big adjustment that came with becoming a parent.  They talk of lost freedom.  I kept searching back in my mind to find a memory of a difficult transition to no avail.  We went from being college students without much money to being married parents without much money.  D'arcy was born three months after Stephen graduated from college.  We never got used to adulthood without kids.  Instead, adulthood has always included kids.  We just folded our kids up, put them in our pockets, and lived life.  We have pocket babies.

If we had given parenthood much thought, which we did not, I'm not sure happiness would have been a driving factor.  Happiness might just be overrated.  We had kids because that's what has to happen in order to have daughters and sons and moms and dads and sisters and brothers and cousins and for there to be any people on this planet in 90 years.

I wanted to soften these last few paragraphs by saying I have the privilege of knowing lots of folks who've don't plan to have kids for various reasons.  Sharing in their experiences, especially one couple we are close to, has helped me ask questions like, "Are children necessary for your life to have validity?"

And that's the end of my post.  I'm out of words and time, but go read that article and listen to Terry Gross because it might capture your interest.

Julia is a badass.

I got a text from Julia on the Monday of the Snowpocalypse.  It had snowed a bunch of inches on Sunday and then the temperature dropped forty degrees overnight.  It was at least ten degrees below zero.

Do you want to go to Megan's house?

Granted, Megan's house is less than a mile away, but did I mention that Julia grew up in Florida?  There was no complaining just some shoveling and a little wheel spinning.

And I found this little saying hanging in her Jeep.  Be free people.

Maggie has been three and a half all week long.

I went to my MOPS meeting and they were showing some YouTube videos entitle "Real Conversations with 3 Year Old".  Check them out here.  That's right.  I'm not alone in my plight.

Here are two real conversation with my three year old from today.  We were at Chik-fil-A visiting with a friend.  It was pretty thoughtful of me to meet at a place with a playground.  It was time to leave, though.

Maggie, we need to leave.
I don't want to go.
Let's go get your shoes.
No.
If I have to go get your shoes, I will take away your new Chik-fil-A book.
I'm not going to get my shoes.
Ok, but your book will get taken away.
We'll see about that. (Yes, this is Maggie talking.)
I start to go get her shoes and she beats me there and puts them on.
I did take her book away.

Maggie let's put on your coat.
No, I don't want to get it on.
Do we need to have a "conversation" in the bathroom?
NO!  Oh, but I do need to go pee for real.
Okay, let's get your coat on first.
NO! I need to pee first.
WE head to the bathroom so she can pee and "have a talk".
Maggie sitting on the toilet.
Mom, I need my coat on to pee.

We head to the YMCA to pick up Schroeder from Preschool.

Mom, can I bring in my fruit from Chik-fil-A?
No, you may not.  We are in a hurry.
Commence fit throwing.
I am carrying a baby carrier with P in it and practically dragging Maggie by the hand.
She goes boneless after the first set of doors and refusing to climb the stairs to go inside.
I set P down just inside the second set of doors and come back to carry her up.
I set her down on the chair in the lobby and go up a flight of stairs to get Schroeder.
I can see and hear her the whole way up.  The girl who just refused to come inside is now angry.
Mom, I wanted to go upstairs with you!

Hang in there moms.  The irrationality of it all is kind of funny, really.

D'arcy wrote another poem.

I am small but not invisible.

I wonder about the past.

I hear people laughing all day.

I see the world around me.

I want to live forever.

I am small but not invisible.

I protend when I play.

I feel like dancing today.

I touch the earth.

I worry in the night.

I cry when times are hard.

I am small but not invisible.

I understand I'm hiper.

I say unicorns are real.

I drem I am a princess.

I try to be the best.

I hope I am funny.

I am small but not invisbele.

-D. Edith Williams 9 years old