Schroeder is 7!!

Schroeder turned seven!  We had a cake and he got a STAR WARS record a couple days before his day.  We spent his actual birthday in California.

His birthday happened to fall on Easter, and I made the whole family go to a Catholic Mission for Mass.  Because...Jesus.  But then he got to spend his day swimming in a pool, dipping his feet in the Pacific Ocean, and walking down the pier in Oceanside to get milkshakes and fries.  Not too shabby.

And then on Monday morning, we went to Legoland.  Because...LEGOs.

Schroeder still loves LEGOs and Pokemon Cards.  He kept sneaking his Pokemon cards to school, and his teacher kept confiscating them.  So, then, he took Maggie's Yugioh cards, snuck them to school, and got those confiscated.

He also likes games.  He says his favorite game is chess.  He and Maggie take the chess set upstairs often.  I have no idea what rules they are following or if the game even resembles chess.

Six was a big year for Schroeder.  He learned to swim.  He learned to ride his bike.  I love his expression when he learns something new and is super proud of himself.

He also learned to read.  On his birthday last year, he was in the very early stages of learning to read.  When he started school in the fall, I assumed he would make quick progress, but he didn't.  His behavior seemed improved from kindergarten, but he was falling behind academically.  Every report card was so frustrating.  In November, I decided it was really important that I read with him or run through flash cards every night.  Being consistent isn't my strongest quality, though, and after school can be a bit chaotic around here.  It felt like a big committment to me.

We worked and worked.  And he started to get it.  Then, he was picking out a new book to read every night before he headed to bed.  I headed to the library to find him more books that fit his needs.  It started to be a joy to him.  He offered to read to his little sisters.  EVENTUALLY, his teacher began to see the work he (we) were putting in, and she moved him to a different reading group.  Then when we got further affirmation on his report card, I teared up.  He played it cool, but that twinkle of pride was there.

So first grade has been kind of hard, and he seems fairly oblivious to it all.  I think he likes school.  I think he likes breakfast, lunch, recess, and friends.   One day, just before his birthday, I pulled out a letter from his backpack.  It was an invitation to attend Sidener Academy, the high ability IPS school.  He took some test that he did really well on.   I was really shocked and emotional about it all.  So we sought the opinions of his teachers, other parents, his principal, and we went to visit Sidener.  Having our kids all together at a community school is so important to me, though.  We ultimately decided to keep him where he's at, but we are open to look again if he continues to struggle.

But enough about school.  Schroeder has the cutest freckles spreading all across his nose and cheeks.  They make me so happy.

He STILL hasn't lost any baby teeth.  The dentist told me not to worry.

When we went on vacation last summer, I gave each of the kids a journal to draw in.  I asked them to look at their surroundings and draw what they wanted.  He drew a cigarette butt, and the carpet on the hotel floor.

Stephen really likes the silverware sorted really specifically based on size and type and even weight of the metal.  And he gets super annoyed when most of us just take the dishwasher container and dump the silverware in the drawer.  But Schroeder is detail oriented and now, despite his complaints, he's sort of stuck with the job.

Schroeder isn't prone to huge fits or anger or emotion, but when he gets tired, he cries pretty easily.  It melts my heart.  I shouldn't have so much pity, though, because his fatigue stems from him sneaking the iPad into his bed.  We'll find him passed out with it in his hands.

The boys share a room.  We unbunked their beds recently.  Julian wrote in this in his school journal that I thought I would end this birthday update with, "I really like the way we remodeled our bedroom yesterday.  It's cool that instead of having to go down the ladder and see my brother, I just have to look to the side and I can see him."

I took some pictures in SoCal.

2015 was the year.

2015 was a pretty big year for us.

2015 was the year for ER visits.  We hit our deductible and drained our HSA account.  Maggie fell down the stairs in March and needed several stitches on her forehead.  Schroeder fell off the countertop in April and hit his head.  He clearly had a concussion so we took him for a CT scan.

Stephen made two emergency trips to the doctor.  Coincidentally, both within 24 hours of leaving on vacation.  On the first morning of our road trip, he wasn't feeling well, and had what I would call a mini panic attack in the car.  He wasn't sure if he was having a heart attack, but he was having trouble breathing.  It turned out to be an intense case of heartburn.

In October, Begbie, our dog, bit him on either side of his chin.  He had to rush to get stitches and head home to attend our friends' wedding.  Being the ever supportive wife that I am, I asked him to please act as normal as possible so I could enjoy the night.

2015 was the year that I pierced my nose.  I celebrated hitting my wedding weight for the first time since Penelope was born.  I also decided I liked to watercolor.

2015 was the year Stephen cut his hair and donated all ten inches of it to Locks of Love.  He also finally added those two extra arrows to his tattoo to represent our two littlest girls.  His quiver is full.

2015 was the year of lots of traveling.  We travelled to St. Louis with our big kids for spring break.  Stephen and I flew to San Antonio on our anniversary.  We took a trip to Tennessee with my parents and siblings in the fall.  Stephen's grandma passed away at the end of November so we went to Georgia for her funeral.

We also took our much anticipated road trip out West.  It was such a dream come true for me.  I wanted to drive and watch the land change before my eyes.  I wanted to hike with my kids and help them find the beauty in nature.  The kids seemed to really like the whole adventure, and when they started to complain, I shoved Swedish Fish in their mouth and said, "You're having the best time ever."  Swedish Fish are convincing.

2015 was the year our dog, Begbie, died.  He was old and having health problems.  Then he bit Stephen, and we just couldn't risk that happening to our kids.  We were all sad, but D'arcy was really devastated.

The situation was redeemed, though, when Grandma and Grandpa helped us surprise the kids with a new puppy for Christmas.  We decided to name her Georgia.  Dogs are good for the soul, I think.

2015 was the year that we kept working on our house.  Nothing new here, really.  We've been plugging away at this since we moved in five years ago.  We've been trying to make it totally functional and our own.  This year, we did tackle some bigger projects, though.

Stephen and I can never seem to agree on how to prioritize these projects.  We finally decided to borrow some money to complete each of our top choices.  We put in a new kitchen floor.  We insulated our attic.  Our biggest project was to reconfigure our stairs.  The old ones were steep and terrible and led to Maggie's forehead scar.

2015 was the year that our nephew Solomon was born.  Stephen was able to get the first peak of him when he travelled to San Francisco in September.

2015 was the year I feel like I became the mom of school aged kids.  This is D'arcy's 7th year in school, but there have always been more kids at home than in school.  I've felt like the majority of my focus has been wherever the majority of my kids are.  It's a tricky business having so many kids who are all at different points in childhood.  Figuring out what each of them needs and divying up you energy and attention is difficult.  I've been tempted to feel guilty for my lack of involvement in what is happening at school.  But, now, I see my attention shifting.  I spend my afternoons resting because at four o'clock when most of my kids get home, there will be conversations, and homework, and chores, and dinner, and inevitably discipline to be dealt with.

I really love having kids who can hike and swim and read and play games and ride bikes.  I'm really relishing this stage.  But, I also still have two girls at home who are preschoolers, and I want to savor these last three years of being a mom to little ones.  I want to still go on playdates and read lots of picture books.

2015 was the year I think I felt the full weight of having five kids.  There is definitely juggling that goes on, and I try to keep our lives and schedules simple to avoid more of it.  Despite being pretty lazy parents, there is still a level of work that has to be done everyday.  That work is draining and I feel stretched.

2015 was the year that church was a joy.  A couple of years ago, I mentioned in my year review that church was hard.  This year, the opposite is true.  Our community is enjoying a moment of connection and God is using that connection to foster spiritual growth.  

I guess I'm a blamer.

My friend Julia was over last night.  Stephen was out of town, and she came over to give me a bit of adult company.  We were chatting about all sorts of topics.  I was telling her about the communication cycle that Stephen and I can't seem to figure out how to alter.

I gave her an example.  On the way to church Sunday, we stopped at the donut shop.  He went inside, and the kids and I stayed in the car.  For some reason, he left the radio running.  The line was long, and it took him awhile.  After a bit, I realized what was happening.  I made sure the car would start, and then I took the keys out of the ignition.  We both know our battery will die quickly.  He came back with coffee and donuts.  He tried to turn the car on, but it wouldn't start.  I didn't realize the lights were on (it was almost eleven and sufficiently bright outside) and hadn't turned them off.

He suggests that we walk to church, and then he'll come back afterwards with someone to jump it.  Church is a mile away.  We have five kids.  It's January.  It's not super cold, but it's still January.  I had just taken the first bite of my long awaited Sunday morning donut.

I turn to him, and say in a reasonably angry and annoyed voice, "Why in the world would you leave the car on!?"

He does not receive this well.  He is defensive.  He tells me I always have to blame someone.  I tell him he never says he is sorry.  I tell him he never takes responsibility.  We walk to church mad at each other.

Julia, who is listening to my story, pulls this Brene Brown video up.  You should watch it right now.

Well, S**T.

I sent it to Stephen.  I was pretty sure he wouldn't be confused as to who the blamer is in the family.  I think he got a particular kick out of the fact that her husband's name is Steve.

So now I've got to figure out with what I should replace those beautiful, self-righteous fifteen seconds.

Julia married Chris!

Julia lives across the street from us.  We met five years ago at a church group.  We had just put an offer on our house.  As we were making small talk, we asked her where she lived.  In Fletcher Place. Oh, really, what street?  Lexington.  Oh, really, which house?  Yeah, the conversation approached stalker status, but we discovered that she was almost directly across the street.  Stephen and I were really nervous about buying this old house, and it felt pretty serendipitous.  Meeting this super cool lady gave us a strange confirmation that we were doing the right thing.

Thus began a great friendship.  Julia is this stable, smart, independent, adventurous, caring girl who doesn't wear her emotions on her sleeve.  I got really excited the first time I saw her cry because I felt like I was finally getting to know her.  

If I had a chance to give a toast at their wedding, I would have said this.  I would speak to Chris, her new husband, and say, "The first time I saw Julia cry she was worried about her family.  Her family is near and dear to her heart.  If they are hurting, she's grieving. She'll interrupt her whole life to help and love them.  I've seen her do it.  And Chris, you're a lucky guy because today you become her family."  

They had their ceremony right on their lawn, and shared their vows on their lovely porch.  Their wedding embodied community and homespun creativity.   

When they started dating, one of the first questions I asked was, "Does Chris rent or own his place?"  I was trying to figure out if he would take her away from Lexington Ave.  Thankfully he rented!