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Friday, November 2, 2012

Preparing for Baby Penuly.

Stephen merged the two names we have picked out for this baby and decided to call our unborn baby Penuly. If it's a girl, she will most likely be named Etta Penelope May Williams. She will go by Penelope (and I might allow Penny). If it's a boy, he will most likely be named Emmett Ulysses (to be determined) Williams. He will go by Ulysses or Uly. Both first names come from Stephen's dad, Emmett.

Ulysses is a name we picked out together when we were expecting Maggie Lu. We were laying in bed throwing out boy names. I wanted to have some sort of boy name I liked before we went for our ultrasound. I was so afraid that I would cry if they told me I was having my third boy in a row. Stephen was throwing out name after ridiculous name, and I was scoffing. I was throwing out awesome names like Ephraim and Jonas and he was downright vetoing them. Then he suggested Ulysses, and I paused and realized how much I like it. And that was that.

We don't have a third name yet for a boy. We are throwing around the idea of Bucky or Buck. When we have asked Julian what he wanted to name a baby boy for the last several years, he would always get this big smile and sparkle in his eye and respond firmly "Bucky". That smile and sparkle have turned what would otherwise be a ridiculous name into something beautiful. And let's face it, this baby will most likely never use their third name anyway. Plus, we've already given one child Edith as a third name and another Vonnegut. Can it get sillier?

For the last couple of years, I was hesitant to even come up with another girl name. I really, really liked Ulysses and was, for the first time, rooting for a baby boy. The problem is, we don't necessarily get to pick and a baby girl might emerge in May and demand a name. So we started talking about girl names. We had a couple that we had both liked in the past, Gwendolyn and Genevieve, that just didn't seem right anymore. I loved, loved, loved the name Georgia, but that was vetoed. One night, when our small group was wrapping up, we started talking about girl names with our friend Beka. Stephen discovered that Penelope was the name of Odysseus's wife in the Odyssey. (Ulysses is the Roman or Latin version of the name Odysseus.) I sort of nodded and said that I liked it. That meant to me that we could put it on our short list. Then he shouted and slapped his knee, "That's it! We have a girls name." Ummmm....wait please! I need to think about this a second! Stephen is kind of a decide and move on kind of guy. He doesn't dwell on past decisions and fret if he made the right one. It's a fairly good quality about him, in my opinion. I had moved too slow! If I had downright rejected the idea he could have found something else, but my initial acceptance of the name sealed it in his mind. So now we have a baby Penuly.

May is the month that Stephen and I are born in (we share a birthday), the month we got engaged, and the month we married. It will also be (assuming everything goes as planned) the month the baby will be born....even if I'm two weeks late!

So there you go, the very long, complicated explanation of our very long, complicated names.

My friend Joy sent me a onesie for Penuly. We have all the baby essentials. Boy and girl clothes, a swing, bumbo seat, carseat, stroller, blankets, pack n' play, etc, etc, etc. This baby won't be lacking on stuff. It is nice to get a few things just for THIS baby, though. That's why receiving this little "Thing 5" onesie was so special.

I'm planning on just decorating a little corner of our room for Penuly. I'm going to indulge myself and buy a new crib. Crib styles have advanced so much since we last bought one seven years ago. Oh, and I guess the movable sides are considered dangerous now. Since both Penelope and Ulysses conjure up images of the sea for me, I'm hoping to decorate the space above Penuly's crib with sea images from a local artist, Sally Harless. You can see what I've pinned to my little pinterest board here. We went to a local show called Optical Popsicle in October and they had a huge shiny silver whale as a prop. I might have to make a much smaller version to hang above Penuly's bed.

We are scheduled for an unltrasound on December 3rd. Stephen and I will not be finding out the sex of the baby, but we will be having it written down and put into a little envelope. Whoever would like to see it is welcome, they just have to do their best to play with our minds. We know there is a good chance we'll know what the sex is by the time the baby comes simply because someone might slip. It really doesn't matter to me.

I just feel like going against the grain...being nonchalant and almost sacreligious with this information. So many people keep the names and sex a secret. We are only going to keep it secret from ourselves. And we know many of you will dislike or even abhore our name choices, but we love them and will not change our minds. Plus, there is a good chance we didn't like the names you picked for your kids.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Thoughts on this pregnancy and eventual delivery.

As many of you have heard, Stephen and I are expecting another baby.  This will be baby number five and as far as we are concerned, our last.  We went to our midwife today and had a chance to hear this little one's heartbeat.  I had two major thoughts while we were there.  First, I had a little bit of fear and eventually loads of gratefulness to even hear the heartbeat.  When I had my first baby, I was twenty-three.  I was pretty young and one of the first gals my age, in my group of friends and acquaintances to start a family.  Now, it seems many, many of my friends have had or are having babies, and many of my friends have experienced some sort of loss.  They have walked into their first appointment to discover their baby had no heartbeat, have lost a baby at 12, 20, or 30 weeks along, have lost their baby during delivery, or have given birth only to lose them too soon afterwards.  Being close to so much loss is making me savor the simple sweetness of a little heartbeat.
I was also thinking how much I appreciate my midwife.  She's a lady I haven't seen in two years, who knew me, knew my history, and welcomed me back into her home with a hug.  She still had my sweet Maggie's picture up on her wall from two years ago.  Gosh, I'm so grateful for the personal care I've received from her and from our previous midwife in Texas.  It's the kind of care that I'm happy to forgo an epidural for (ok...I had like ten contractions total during my last labor).  They have both been personal and educated.
I got a chance to be around for a friend's hospital delivery the other day.  The nurses weren't sure if the baby was breach or not because of where the found the baby's heart beat on with the monitor.  It didn't matter since the c-section was scheduled already. I was surprised, though, that they weren't trained to palpitate her stomach and figure it out right there.  My midwife taught me how to determine for myself several pregnancies ago whether my baby was head down.  I guess they can just use an ultrasound machine....  (I should also mention, just as a disclaimer, that that nurse was kind, professional, and competent.)
I read an article recently about Tori Spelling.  She has had four babies in the last six years via cesarean section.  She had placenta previa with her most recent pregnancy.  A condition that caused her to have some very significant bleeds.  She ended up spending most of the summer in the hospital, delivered a healthy son via c-section, and ended having an emergency surgery within weeks of the delivery when her incision came open.
We knew we wanted to have a large family.  I'm pretty sure we decided on five kids before we even had the first.  After I ended up delivering D'arcy by c-section, I knew I needed to try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).  A huge factor in the decision is that while a c-section can be a relatively easy surgery to recover from the first or second time, with every subsequent c-section your risk for placenta previa, placenta accreta, surgical adhesions, and delivery-related hysterectomy increase.  Babies delivered by subsequent c-sections are also found to make more trips to the NICU.
I'm not saying that c-sections aren't life saving or unnecessary or always harder than a vaginal birth.  What I am saying is, man, I'm so glad that I was able to have Julian without the need for a second c-section which would have necessitated a third and a fourth and now a fifth.


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

When you walk out the door with your camera, prepare to be surprised with what you return home with.

I took D'arcy and Maggie out on Maggie's birthday (yes, that was almost a month ago) to take some pictures.  I don't force my kids to sit, smile and take a portrait very often, but I do try on their birthdays.  D'arcy liked her hair band, but disliked her outfit.  She was pouting the whole time.  Maggie turned two.  She was more interested in playing and discovering our neighborhood than sitting still and smiling.  If I pointed the camera at her, she would start waving her hand saying "no pictures!"  I was getting frustrated and started threatening to take away the promised ice cream.  Which is minimally helpful.  
At some point, I remembered that I'm a lifestyle photographer which means I'm trying to capture real, authentic moments.  I very, very, rarely put a simple portrait up on my wall.  So why am I torturing myself and my kids on their birthdays?  I'm always surprised by the picture I love at the end of photographing my family.  Most times it's a picture I didn't set out to take.  It was a picture I took in the midst of life happening.  Here are a few of the shots I took that day that I DID NOT set out to take, but I think show my two daughters' (who are exactly six years and three days apart) relationship.  

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Melissa + Joy | AT HOME | Mommy & Me

This month is a little different.  Let me tell you a story.  Joy and I have a mutual friend, Kristin.  Kristin is pregnant, but was put on bed rest to keep baby safe.  Kristin has a house and a four year old.  It's hard to take care of those things when you are on bed rest.  Joy said, "Hey, why don't I ride the bus up from Texas to Kentucky to help you out for a few weeks."  I said, "Hey, Joy, why don't I pay the difference between a Greyhound ticket and a plane ticket, fly you to Indianapolis, and then drive you to Kentucky to hang out with Kristin."  So that's what we did.  Joy got to see me, my house, my kids, my neighborhood.  I got to see Joy and her six month old, Jax.  We both got to see Kristin who is still pregnant.  Awesome.  
Joy had the idea that we take pictures of each other.  I have been so wanting pics of me with each kid. She made it happen.  and I made it happen for her.  So here they are.  
I love their peaches n' cream complexion.  Both look soft and smooth.
I love this photo.  He looks like his daddy here.  
Moms, do remember this?
Love his little grip on her shirt.