Schroeder is 17!

Schroeder turned 17! He celebrated by taking three friends to a Pacers vs Lakers game, and we splurged on tickets for him and his siblings to see Bruno Mars in September. I like facilitating memorable sibling moments even if they will be up at the top of the stadium. 

He is moving rapidly through these last two years of high school full of big projects, college prep, and high school rites of passage. He joined the National Honor Society and National Spanish Honor Society. He made some money ref-ing little league soccer and just got a job as a lifeguard at the IU Indy Natatorium. He was excited with his first round SAT scores.

A week before his birthday, he got his license. We were running a little late to the appointment so I simultaneously yelled at him to drive faster while lecturing him to go slow during his driving test. One of his first solo drives was taking the mini van to the prom. It was a full circle moment for me because my junior prom was also at the Egyptian Room. 

Sometimes I describe Schroeder to people as embodied. That used to be code for hyperactive. Now, it means he is aware that moving his body helps him regulate his mind. He likes having an after school activity which usually means a sport. He ran a sub 2 hour half marathon at the Indy Mini last year, and played as a floater for both the varsity soccer and volleyball teams. He won most improved on the boys’ swimming team after he unexpectedly dropped a lot of time on his 50 free. He has supportive coaches but not coaches that are critique his form so he turned to ChatGPT for advice. 

He actually missed half the swim season due to a concussion incurred at a volleyball open gym while Stephen and I were in Puerto Rico. It was our first time dealing with a concussion and there was a learning curve in getting him cleared to swim again. The first time he went to see the doctor, he told them he was only at 75%. The doctor told him to come back when he was feeling 100% and charged us $250 for the advice. Learning can be expensive.

Both Schroeder and I have received comments about how thoughtful he can be when having a conversation in a small group. People are surprised to find out that he is pretty mature in his approach to life and relationships. He is maybe less mature when watching sports, though. It’s been an exciting year for sports in Indiana. The Pacers went to game 7 in the NBA finals, the Colts had an unexpectedly good start to their season, and the Hoosiers won the college football National Championship. It’s mostly fun watching sports with Schroeder. He brings the energy with his trash talking, rocking in a corner during tense moments, and running down the street yelling after a big win. Sometimes, though, things become less fun when he is hate-watching Arsenal or complaining that commentators are glazing SGA (even if they are). 

Excited to see what this last year of childhood has in store for our middle baby! Happy 17th birthday, Schroe.

Maggie is FIFTEEN!

It’s been eight months since Maggie turned fifteen, but a birthday blog post is better late than never. A handful of her friends gathered to watch 10 Things I Hate About You, eat pizza, and celebrate her. We gifted her Driver’s Ed. She plodded her way through the online course and finally got her permit over spring break, the same day her brother got his license. Even though I was annoyed with how long it took her, the timing actually worked out to only have one learner at a time.

Maggie finished out her year at Longfellow (and Harshman). We celebrated her eighth grade graduation at Calvary Church where she won an academic award. Her social studies teacher introduced her to the crowd by his nickname for her, “Maggie for Margaret”. 

She posted a summer bucket list worthy of a teen movie on her wall. One of the last entries was “Be Brave” which made me tear up. That’s on my list, too. I was already seeing her take vulnerable risks, though. She ran her second 5k the morning of the Indy Mini, joined Longfellow’s track team, and asked to preach for her youth group. She has a reputation for being “Pastor Maggie” and shared about being honest and authentic to God in prayer. 

I’m not sure she checked everything off her bucket list, but she stayed busy. She took her last trip to Springhill with cousins (the Indiana camp is closing), woke up early to condition with the cross country team, and traveled with us on a family vacation to Seattle. I asked each kid to suggest an activity for the trip. Maggie suggested we take paddle boats out in Lake Union like they do in 10 Things I Hate About You. Clearly, that movie has stood the test of time. We discovered that the swan paddle boats they use were just for the movie, but we could rent row boats for the adventure. Stephen and I had one boat and all five kids were in another. They traded off rowing and making  “Nothing Beats a Jet2 Holiday” tiktoks. 

Maggie started her freshman year at Shortridge in August. After some scheduling conflicts, she landed in the advanced band class. A stretch but also a path to improving as a flautist. After a couple of cross country meets, she quit the team because she got a part in the fall play, Noises Off. She was really growing as a runner so I was disappointed to see her quit but supported her decision to not overextend herself. 

Noises Off is a play within a play and demanded that she portray two characters, use an English accent, and run up and down steep stairs in tall wedge heels. I was nervous someone was going to die falling off the balcony on set. She got the part of Logainne Schwartzandgrubenierre in the spring musical which was a lot less stressful for me because she stayed on solid ground in tennis shoes. She was super funny and dynamic in both, though. 

She had definitely thrown herself into a more independent, high school life, mastering the use of the city bus, making friends from all grades, and taking McDonalds runs after school with her brother. She continues to be the same old Maggie Lu, though, who reads, journals, makes art, and keeps that room clean. Happy (very belated) sweet fifteen. 

Penelope turned TWELVE.

Penelope turned twelve the same day we held Julian's graduation open house. She was kind to share her day with her brother. I popped candles into one of Julian's cupcakes and we sang to her just after the party wound down and just before the Pacers played.

She did have a few of her favorite friends over for a pool party a month later. All of her guests started sixth grade at Longfellow Middle School but only two of them stayed for seventh. She has stayed flexible and joyful through the changes and has embraced being a Longfellow Lion. Last year, she played futsal and soccer, had a little bookclub with her English teacher, and got to go to Kentucky Kingdom to celebrate her ILearn results. This year she joined the volleyball team and made a little debate club with her gal pals. She asked to borrow my computer to type up her essay on why fruit belongs on pizza.

We get to walk her back and forth to school everyday, and we have a deal that we stop at Dairy Queen once a month for a sweet treat. Those walks have brought me so much joy.

She's still playing piano, still loves listening to Lauffey. She gets annoyed when we mispronounce her name. She has worked on perfecting her desk organization, iPad home page design, and skin care routine.

I took her and Maggie to Barnes and Noble during spring break and made them get both a fun book and a serious book. Penelope choose a lovely copy of the Odyssey from which her name came. She has read a few chapters and has begun noticing the constant references to it in all sorts of media.

Summer Penelope was busy reading The Summer I Turned Pretty, attending church camp and soccer camp, and traveling to Seattle with the family. She particularly loved the aquarium with the seals and otters. She's always a sucker for cute animals.

Fall Penelope is making herself hot tea everyday, watching Gilmore girls, and counting down the days till Halloween and Christmas.

She's the baby of the family. Right now that translates to being the only person without a phone and social media. I will communicate plans via text and forget that she doesn't get them.

It also means for the first time, she is going to a school without any of her siblings. I overheard her telling Julian that she felt like an only child. The college kids are away. The high school kids leave early and stay late for after school activities. When they do get home they talk bout their high school friends and events.

Sometimes it pays to have older siblings, though. Julian often taken her to the theatre to see Studio Ghibli movies. He's so kind until he grossly underestimates her age.

"Penelope you're turning nine, right?"

"No, I'm twelve!"

And we all collectively marvel how our baby is so old.

Schroeder is SIXTEEN!

 Schroeder turned sixteen on a quiet, gray Thursday during spring break. I had him drive us to the credit union so we could set him up a checking account. It currently has no money in it, but will be there when he inevitably gets a job in the next couple years.

We had dinner, sang to him over brownies, and watched a movie together as a family. He asked for a Google watch which he received, but I also bought him a book and some hair products. He's on a journey to decide how he likes to cut and style his hair. I'm on a journey to convince him to read for fun.

He's finishing up his sophomore year and keeping himself busy playing a sport every season. Soccer is still his first love, but swimming became more than just a way to stay conditioned. He shaved more than twenty seconds off his backstroke time allowing him to become more competitive. He's finishing off the year playing volleyball where he has become a confident serve receiver and server. I love to watch him play.

He had to take on a personal project for school and choose to run the monumental mini marathon in November. He finished in just a few minutes over two hours. I thought last year's 500 mini would be my last, but he convinced me to run it with him this year. It's hard for him to find time to condition with all his school and sport commitments, though.

I'm running with Schroeder, but he and Stephen have become regulars at the early morning Tottenham soccer games broadcast at a local bar. Who knew there were enough fans to have a local club?

He's owning his academics this year. He admittedly struggles with procrastination, but is learning more about how to manage his time. He is playing trombone and was invited to move up to one of the top bands at the semester but didn't like how that would mess with his schedule. His band teacher said, "Everyone likes Schroeder. He has the opportunity to wield his influence for good or for bad."

He's learning about relationships, who is safe to talk to, how to love well and forgive, how to give good gifts. I can read his face pretty well, but I try to stop pushing if he isn't up to talking. He has leaned on Maggie a couple times. I've heard them in her room discussing and processing. She also gave him advice on how to execute a proper homecoming proposal. I'm excited to see how their relationship develops when they are back in school together next year.

He got his learner's permit last summer. His older siblings have both required three attempts to pass the written test so I assumed Schroeder would do the same. We rushed into the BMV not long before soccer practice, and I said something to the effect of "It won't take long for you to fail."

Who's a good mom, and also wrong with regularity?

He breezed right through and then had to stay to process paperwork. He was late for soccer.

He had several driving lessons with a man who teaches at Whiteland High School. "Did you tell him that Dad and I graduated from Whiteland? Did you tell him you know one of the art teachers there?" No. I guess he doesn't share my enthusiasm for making random connections.

We love this boy particularly for his mean air guitar skillzzzzzz and his willingness to play with his younger cousins (although he could be gentler). Happy Birthday Schroe!

Julian is EIGHTEEN!

 Julian turns eighteen today.

He got his license in February, and his first job in June. Since we bought a second vehicle last spring, he has easy access to a car and a little money in his pocket, aka independence.

He has used his freedom to go out with friends and on a few dates. He also goes to a lot of movies. He became an AMC movie pass member allowing him to get movie passes much cheaper, a choice he claims was the best decision of his life.

He worked as a dishwasher at the brewery in our neighborhood. He mentioned wanting a job to his uncle at Mother's Day lunch, and his uncle made a connection to the brewery's owner who was looking for part time help. The job made him wrestle with what it feels like to do such a repetitive task for eight hours. His commercial dishwashing skills increased, for sure. I'm not sure that has affected his domestic skills, though.

He often spent time between dish loads studying for his SAT. We made a bet this year. Before taking the SAT, he mentioned a score that I thought was a BIG reach. He thought it would be easy, no problem at all. I (pseudo jokingly) told him if he got that score I would buy him a PS5. He said, nevermind about a PS5, I'll just take $500.

He proceeded to take the test in the spring and got a perfectly good score, the score I anticipated he would get. Determined, he came home and studied all summer. He took it again in August and increased his score by 120 points, only 20 points away from that reach number. I was so impressed by his persistence, I offered him half my pseudo serious bet. This might not be good parenting, but it's been fun.

He goes to an International Baccalaureate school. So much of his diploma program work is big projects that begin junior year and carry over into senior year. He has a lot of soft deadlines, deadlines that are there to help students pace themselves and not procrastinate. Our biggest challenge this year has been agreeing on whether these soft deadlines should be taken seriously. Me, yes. Him, they are not real.

Those arguments have mostly evaporated now that he is a senior because soft deadlines have become a lot more firm. And with minimal help from me, he is prioritizing his work and getting it done. What comes next is college applications.

We had a tear filled conversation in the kitchen over the summer. Ever since we visited Boston three years ago, he's been dreaming of going to school there. I want him to have everything he wants. I want to give him hints and advice on how to get it. The problem is, I don't know how to help him with this one. Schools in Boston are some of the hardest to get into and most expensive. I don't know how to help him get in or how to pay for it. I was frustrated because I didn't see him taking steps to figure it out. I just saw looming disappointment (my biggest fear).

I shared this with Julian who made it clear he didn't expect me to do anything. He told me he is just allowing himself to dream.

He asked for a record player for his birthday. It's a consolation present after I said no to his first request, mother and son chiropractic appointments. Julian is always popping his fingers, neck, and back. I cringe every time. I would rather skydive, literally jump out of a moving plane and fall to the earth with just a flimsy piece of fabric to catch me, than have someone twist my neck to the side. Julian is determined, though, to get us both in an office for adjustments.

Julian is quick to laugh. He is direct in his communication. He has a strong sense of his own style. I love to see him act, hear him play the piano, and watch him interact with his siblings. He has grown in taking responsibility for his own life, and I’m so excited to see where he goes and what he does.  

A couple of times, Julian has asked me what I would do if he just up and left when he turned eighteen. It's tempting to take this comment as a threat or an insult. But, I understand that he is seeing and tasting freedom, his life opening up in front of him, the endless possibilities.

Well, I told him I would cancel his credit card and report my van stolen so he probably wouldn't get very far.

But even though this scenario isn't serious, he is getting ready to leave. And when he does, his dad will be reminding him not to be an asshole, and I'll say, "Call your mom sometimes. She's going to miss you."

Maggie Lu is F O U R T E E N!

Maggie celebrated her 14th birthday with a few friends at the “Let's Sing Taylor” concert at Symphony on the Prairie. Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour is coming to Indianapolis this November but we weren't lucky enough to get tickets so this was the next best thing. It was a beautiful evening to be outside in Indiana. 

The friends who came along painted a picture of her year. A longstanding friendship surprisingly dissolved at the beginning of 7th grade leaving Maggie confused and hurt. She spent a lot of time reflecting and journaling about that loss, owning her part and deciding what she wants in a friendship going forward. 

I was nervous that her last year at CFI2 would be lonely, but she invested in other connections at school and church which flourished. That posture of openness and curiosity set her up to start at a new school this month. When I subbed last week, she brought three new friends to meet me. 

The school district we attend moved away from K-8 schools towards traditional 6th-8th grade middle schools this year. We knew the change was coming and decided to send Maggie and Penelope to the global majority middle school within walking distance of our house. 

On back to school night, we learned that Maggie was the only eighth grader at Longfellow ready for Geometry so we scrambled to find a class she could attend. Many of Maggie’s classmates choose the high ability middle school about 5 minutes north of Longfellow which offered Geometry. We made a plan to pick Maggie up before last period every day and drive her up to Harshman for math class. It’s goofy, but there are positives. We get to spend time with Maggie, walking her to school in the morning and driving her to Harshman each afternoon. Maggie gets to meet new people at Longfellow and still see some familiar faces during last period. 

Maggie chose to be baptized this summer. Like her sister, she wanted to do it in the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Edisto Island. It's exciting to see her faith growing.

Maggie has said multiple times that she isn’t sporty, but she often went to the gym this summer with D’arcy. She also expressed interest in running a 5k so I offered to run with her in preparation. Every Saturday we head out to do the next step in our couch to 5k program. We share earbuds but when I suggest we sprint, she moves fast enough and far enough away from me to lose connection. 

Maggie likes to read, but there are some books that have felt overwhelming to get through. I suggested she try an audio book which she did with success. She is still playing flute and piano, and has an instagram account devoted to her art projects (tmw_art2010). She is excited to take some art classes next year at Shortridge, something none of her siblings have done. 

She still shares a room with her sister, a situation that won't change for a few more years. She is often frustrated with Penelope’s mess, clothes on the floor, dresser drawers open, art supplies all over the desk. Sometimes I hear them talking late at night. I end up knocking on the wall we share because I’m cranky, tired, and ready to sleep. Maggie told me that she and Penelope could be best friends if I would just let them talk.  

Cheers to fourteen!

Penelope turned eleven years old.

Penelope turned eleven the day before we left for summer vacation. The day was hectic for me. I was packing, finishing up a school paper, and going to dinner for our 21st wedding anniversary (which falls on the same day). Her siblings were out of the house for various reasons, work, a concert, another party. We finally got a few people around the kitchen to sing happy birthday and eat cupcakes at 10:30pm. She had to wait for her present (a new desk chair) and her birthday party until after we returned from South Carolina. She maintained a good attitude about it all, though. 

Penelope continues to have a strong style particularly in clothes and music. I would describe both as chill girl vibe. Her playlist is entitled “You Like Jazz?” and has a strong mix of Tyler the Creator, Lauffey, and TV Girl.

She is still unashamedly committed to stuffed animals, always wanting to check out what squishmallows Target has in stock. She is still making herself ramen on the regs, excited when I say I'm not cooking anything in particular for dinner. She loves herself a Jimmy John's sandwich and dreams of the day when I will let her get a whole sandwich for herself, one part to eat now, the other to take in her lunch. She is wholly devoted to making her lunch everyday which includes pistachios, yogurt, a Nutella sandwich, and a seltzer water.

I've noticed Penelope's tender side more this year. Our dog is getting older and just the realization that she will die one day sent Penelope into tears. She is hyper aware of any signs of her age, noticing bald spots, lumps, limps, or an upset stomach. I don't think Georgia fully appreciates the care, concern, and love Penelope has for her.

Our church acknowledged her graduation from fifth grade one Sunday in May. They gave her a box with treasures and letters from loved ones. As she read the letters from me and her Nai-Nai, you could see tears streaming down her face. She leaned in and gave me a hug which is not uncommon. I get about 10 hugs a day from her. This one felt more meaningful though. She was celebrating growing up and bracing for the changes to come including a new school. 

I've also seen Penelope’s fierce side. She played soccer this spring, and her team once again made it to the championship game. During the playoffs, I would overhear parents say, "Whoa, that little girl is tough" when she would defend against boys a foot taller than her. I wanted to scream, "Yeah, she is. That's my girl!"

Penelope has a good group of friends. One friend welcomed a baby sister who would often come to lunch at school. Penelope came home lamenting the fact that she doesn't have a little brother or sister. Unfortunately, this is something I can't (won't) give her. Maybe eventually she will have some nieces and nephews to make up for this injustice.

Penelope started a new school this month. Longfellow Middle School is the new IB option just a short walk from our house. In the past, new spaces and people have overwhelmed her, but she entered this new phase with ease and openness. Unlike her older sister, she does have a strong group of friends who joined her in this transition which has brought comfort.

She is taking mandarin and opted for art over band. She picked up piano lessons last year, reluctantly taking Julian's lesson when he was busy with the his play. She quickly grew to enjoy it. I always love to hear her practice.

Penelope often watches TV with Stephen and I in the evenings. It gives me a little glimpse of what those last two years of parenting might look like, after her siblings have all left the nest and it's just the three of us. They are going to be sweet.